Harehaunter   Harehaunter's Hutch  
Harehunter's Note: I think I'd better stop this before it becomes too silly. Oh, sorry. Too late.
Credit goes to Robert Asprinfor his series Another Fine Mythwhich is the inspiration for this tail.

Harehunter goes to market.

One fair morning a fair time ago, a fairly famished Harehunter opened his fridge to find some food to break his fast, only to find that his breakfast salad was gone! Then he remembered that he had had a hankering for a snack the night before, and had finished it off.

"Well," he said to himself, "Self, if we want any lettuce leaf for breakfast then let us leave now to pick some." and he headed out the door.

It was spring and the previous nights shower had washed the March air crisp and clean. A marching tune popped into the Harehunter's head, and as he sang the lyrics, the rhythm went straight to his feet. As he approached a Random Factor, the Factor remarked, "Look at the March Hare marching in the March air, singing a marching aire."

Further down the road, Harehunter passed by a bypass that was full of passers-by who were passing good byes as they passed each other by.

Finally, the Harehunter saw the tents of the bazaar. When he came to the the first one, he entered the tent tentatively and saw the tennant peering intently at a monkey's paw.
The monkey's son piped up, "Why are you staring at my pa's paw?"
The seer said "Surely you can see I am seeking to see his future."
"I can see you're nothing more than a charlatan. And don't call me Shirley."
The younger monkey tugged at his pa's elbow. "Come on pa. You don't want to be this seer's sucker. It doesn't suit you."

As the pair of monkees barreled down the road looking for more fun, Harehunter thought to himself, "This bazaar is becoming quite bizarre."

A few tents down he passed a pair of prickly porcupines peeling a rather appealing plant. When the Harehunter paused, one of the porcupines politely proffered a platter containing two of the peeled fruits. "Would you like to purchase a pair of pared pears, please?"
But the Harehunter spied a few spines in the bowl with the pears. "No, I think I'll pass. Those pears are too prickly for me."

Further down, he came upon a tent that had a sign over the door. "Flea's Market?" he read. "Now who in the world would want to buy fleas? Wouldn't those fleas flee?"
"It was supposed to read 'Fleece Market'!" bleated out the shop owner.
The Harehunter jumped and skipped back a hop as he Dodged the ram charger who charged up behind him. "That is what you get when you buy a bargain basement bazaar billboard. But the Car-painter I hired was all I could aFord. He gave me a real Saab story about his wife leaving him. "She said I was a Cad who lacked prestige. When she told me that she was eloping with a Mercurial fellow named Lincoln who drove an Abrams, all I could say was, 'Tanks alot!' The only thing she left me was this Old smobile."
Just then an aged wagon full of elderly people rolled by. Everyone cleared the center of the street to allow the Old Folks Wagon to pass.

Then the ram mood suddenly brightened. "Is there anything I can do for ewe?"
"No, I'm fine" he said."
The ram pointed at the Harehunter and said, "Not you." then pointed behind him. "May I help ewe, madame?"
Sheepishly, the Harehunter stepped out of the ewe's way, and continued down the street.

Finally, Harehunter arrived at the shop he was looking for, a perveyor of fine soups and salads.
"Welcome to Souper Salads. How may we serve you?"
Harehunter recognized the proprietor as a native of a place called Perv, where it's residents called themselves ...
"Pervects." interrupted the proprietor.
"Yes. I was going to say that." finished the Harehunter. "Also I would prefer not to be served in any fashion." Harehunter said as he stared at the toothy grin of the ...
"Pervect. Call me Aahhz."

Harehunter shook paws with ...
"Aahhz. And, no I didn't mean that we would serve You, just that we would Serve you. We have a fine Rhine wine from the best vines."
"I haven't tasted wine for a long time because I don' want to end up like Uncle Herman Hasenpfeffer."
"What happened to him, if I may inquire?"
"He drank too much wine and got himself thoroughly Stewed."
"My sympathies. What, then, may I get for you?"
"I would like to have a large salad, please."
"Now we heading in the right direction," said Aahhz as he shredded an entire head of lettuce into a bowl. "Would you like carrots with your salad?"
"Yes, I would like a couple dozen, please."
"Righty-oh!. One 24 carrot salad coming right up."

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